A Stochastic Speeches

Birthdays - Seriously, I am facing the love-hate relationship with birthdays. I would encounter major head-wrecking and mind spinning process during the gift selections at shopping markets. Whats even worst is, I would normally went belly-up!!! Can you imagine having 4 to 5 friends celebrating their birthdays in the same month? (I have not included colleagues birthdays yet!). This month I have 6 birthday gifts to prepare & lucky enough next month would be a low "birthday" season... Hehehehehe...

This month's babies (which I am able to capture on my cell cam);

Nathan's Birthday

Angel's Birthday

May's Birthday

Shopping - Alright, as I was busy selecting and purchasing gifts for those babies, I could not resist the temptation to not buying anything for myself. Hence, I bought myself a few cosmetic items - eye shadow and primer. Well, it is a sooner or later purchase. So I went around buying it a little earlier~ hehehehehehehe

M.A.C Primer

M.A.C Eye Shadow Set

Network - I am a full-time supporter of "Yellow Man" for nearly a decade. However, I cannot deny the weak network support of it. While I was busy selecting and browsing shops by shops for suitable gifts, nobody was able to reach me (due to "no service" issues). I was somewhat frustrated of the continuous lousy network service! Can you imagine there is no service available in shopping malls? Dang!

This was taken by my colleague during a training session in one of the classroom

Hmmmm.....
Ngeline

I like gifts!!!

Happy - I am excited today when Hui Ying, Brenda, & me had a catch-up session with Alice. Tho we are working under the same roof, we seldom had the chance to meet what more catch-up session. Then and there we was talking about her Korea trip. It is very exciting to hear vacations stories : ) I was happy, as if I were the one who went Korea!!!

Gifts - Anyhow, she bought us souvenirs and Hui Ying was overwhelmed by that!!! She started smiling from ear to ear & mumbling that it was Christmas season. LOL! So there was mask, ginseng candy, & a nail clipper for us originally from Korea!!! Yay!

More - Well, it wasn't Alice alone that is giving out souvenirs, Brenda did too! On her previous leave, she went Singapore with her family. She showed us videos and pictures of her vacation in Singapore and boy! that place is fascinating! Even Resorts World Sentosa looked awesome!

 

More Gifts - Yippie! Once again I have souvenir to collect. Brenda bought us pouch (more like a shilling pouch but I like it anyway~ ) At the outer part of the pouch, each and everyone's were different. Mine stated "I Want A Pay Rise" while some other was written "Money is not the problem but no money is a problem", "Hard Earned Money", and etc...

Ah.....

Ngeline

I am smart yet stupid

Bright – Since young I realized that I have the capabilities in learning fast and think fast. But do not get me wrong, academic wise I am not that intelligent! LOL! I am more of the practical or application person. I do not have like 1000GB or whatsoever and let me clarify that I owns like maybe 1GB memory space! I could not remember things clearly or being able to memorize anything easily, so yea~ anyway, among my peer group I consider myself bright. Sometimes I do get irritated at other’s imbecility; e.g. stuffing a key into a pad lock. Everyone knows that the flat part should face upright while the crooked face downwards BUT still some people just enjoy stuffing it the other way and ended not being able to stuff the key into the pad lock. WTH!!! Pudding head!!!

Dullard – In another angle, I am a half-wit! Seriously! I am very easily being taken for granted, being exploited, get hurt in various ways (emotionally and physically), and there might be more to list. I had many acquaintances merely because I shared my knowledge. They never speak to me in or out of class but they DO speak to me when finals are just around the corner. Whoa! How bogus are they! Even my group members are getting a piece of me! They and everyone knew I would not left things undone. So here I am being a moron…

Benevolent – Call me pathetic but honestly I could not be ignorant towards those dullards although I noticed myself being exploited by them. Sometimes it is not easy to turn blind eyes on as I feel bad, bad for not being helpful. As furious as I may be, I forgive them overtime. Gosh, c’mon, how long can I be angry? Frustration and anger haunts me but sometime after it would all gone.

WTF! - The only action I can do is remain silence and silence and still... silence.  The only time they realize I am upset is when I remain silenced for a very long time.


Zip your lips, please....
N-geL

Nobody expect you to be omniscient!

Friend – According to certain quotes, a person could only consider as a friend when everyone walks out during your hardship and the very person stays to walk you through the pain. It is never easy to have friends because I realized many are either in love with themselves way too much or there is just a need of “connection”. People who favor “connection” are mostly those who live or enjoy the same kind of lifestyle or attitudes. Try noticing those around you. You will be surprise to see only the clowns live with laughter, the miserable stuck in pain, the knowledgeable favors formality, and so on. Of course there is some exemption in certain circle of friends where there is a mixture of clown, miserable, knowledgeable, or etcetera. And so to say, I am involved in this circle. Weird and unique, that is what I named my group.

Weird & Unique – After 2 years of dispute among ourselves, finally we reached to an end. No, not our journey ended but argufies. Of course I am happy but there is only one problem left, the miserable is still there and there is nothing my group and I can do to retrieve the miserable from pain. And to make matter worst, the miserable is rubbing the pain on all of us! Omitting the miserable, my group and I are having a great bonding session!!! Let’s see, my group consists of a hyper that could break a bone with merely her voice, a vulgar freak that turns every vulgarity into bible, an obnubilate that cloud every single thing she touches, and of course the normal kiddo, ME! Ngek Ngek Ngek

Creep – Why would a person enjoy being a spook when they had many other choices? I am sorry to admit that there would not be any second chance (after all the numerous chances given previously for the very same fault) as I could no longer being the good Samaritan. I could not be saintlier than any normal homo sapiens, seriously! I can no longer bear being ambush repeatedly without shielding myself. Nope, not the hurt but it is the narking sensation that bothers me a lot. It boils my anger right to my bone!
Unsolved - I am discombobulated by this pathetic creep! Seriously I am sick to core of such willy-nilly troubles and God; I wished it would all go away. I felt bad for putting on a cold shoulder at that creep; then again it serves that creep right! Ouch! I know… I upstage that creep already and now that pathetic creep is turning into a brainsick mannequin statue! Gosh! What should I do? Uh-oh the truth is out there~~

Frontal – Sooner or later I have to bare a piece of my mind to that creep, right? Name me chicken, call me coward but I honestly could not faced that creep at the moment. Hell, I got pissed at every apparent motion that creep made. I need time to be able to recover from such crap and I need an advice for this~

Lusus naturae?
N-geL

The Beginning on Coming Ending…

Beginning – As weeks, months, and years passed with a blink of an eye, histories are formed unendingly. Just a little flashback on my former years, I never really have a great bonding with anyone in university and to be honest I never enjoyed life or companion there. What I remembered is I always wanted to end the dreadful lifestyle and acquaintances relations! But after the compulsory campaign event held in university for grading purposes, I realized I had missed out many great funs and excitement; university life!!! WTH!!! Grateful to God for blessing me with second chance, I finally made my move to break my pathetic bubble and GET-A-LIFE.

Bonding – Although it is a little too late on the bubble-bursting part, I had lots of fun together with my “U-N-I-Q-U-E” group mates. I used to hate having any associations with them as they are freaktarded, really BUT I had fun hanging out with them, off assignments and university. Knowing them personally, omitting all those frustrations and arguments we had really put our guts and masks down. The laughter, the gossips, the chats and talks, the sharing of troubles, and the sharing of thoughts and ideas are blasting!!! Heck the restaurants and shops that we went during our get-together-gathering are hell in an earthquake!!! WTH!!! Gosh I should have taken a photo of those owners and employees… It is fun… Below are a few pieces of proof!!!

Heart Matters in Relationships!!

 

Beautiful Scenery @ The Gardens

Ending – It still disturbed me a lot when I realized how recent only had I realize the importance and fun of the get-together; how I wished I could have more time to spend with them… I am in my ending year my last semester in university and I believe every minutes we are able to spend together are indeed precious to me. It is our ending but I know there should have a better greater beginning, coming~

Uh oh throughout the bonding sessions, KL & EL make an effort to come to my chronicle home town! And that was fabulous!!! Again, below are the proofs!

Queuing for the famous chicken rice ball in Malacca!

Queuing whilst camwhoring under the darn hot weather! WTH!!

Okay~ EL saw the "biawak" and got excited, weird huh?

???

Glue, Anyone?
N-geL

It's the relationships event

Believe it or not, I have got a really successful campaign ever!!! My team and I managed to spread the rightful feelings, hypnotize them, just the way we want them to! What makes the event even successful is the support gained from various audiences, e.g. the seniors, students from other courses, and last but not least, the tutors and lecturers! Wow! Kudos to the entire team!

It is quite painful for me of not being in the event hall as I am in charge of the Press Conference section. So you may figure out how devastated I am being stuck in another “boring” room. But of course, the press conference section is being praised as well for the very well done job! (Ehem ehem...)Bravo to my team and I again (those press conference members). Yes!!!

Throughout the entire event, the lighting, the PA Systems, the videos are all very well managed! Good job to the IT and technician team! I hate to admit this but they did an extremely well task as compared to the previous campaigns, majority of them have had technical error. I am, of course, proud to announce that my campaign is the first campaign to owned the title of “BEST CAMPAIGN” (It's a self declare title actually) Muahahahahahahahaha!!!

I hardly believe the fact that my team members and I have had a really great team work together and each and every one of us actually compromise to each other’s needs and responsibilities. We behave maturely and of course we all learn about each other which lead us to have quality relationships among ourselves! Yippie!!! All of us managed to get close together and enjoy every moment of success together. It is unbelievable.

Some people just love being miserable

People often encourage each other to be happy all the time. BUT have you ever noticed some people just love being miserable to keep them happy? No? Well, you are a real lucky being! I met and I have to interact with that sort of people 24/7! Well okay not 24/7 but almost for years! The next question from me will be “WHY enjoy being miserable just to keep you happy?”

I did everything I could to help BUT it’s a vain attempt! Sigh~ Perceptions, thoughts, assumptions, the way of viewing or seeing things are all nothing but a person’s personality. The way a person behaves, thinks, assume, or maybe sensing certain situation, things, or even a person are all base on their background. Everything a person does reflects on their background, what sort of person are they, what are their lifestyle, and much more. Sometimes prediction is applicable to them, too!

Nyway my main point is why this sort of people enjoy being miserable??? Miserable be it but why shower me with those suffering as well? Illogical isn’t it?

Nother painful experience I had encounter is having an ape around! I just don’t get it! Don’t all of us have our own mask to put on and characters to play? Okay maybe roles and characters are forgivable to impersonate BUT what about hobbies or the likes & dislikes or colours or choices of food or movies? WTF!!! Thank you very much but I enjoy having myself as the sole species! Gosh~

Seriously I hated many things in life especially a person’s attitude or character. I hate a person who loves being miserable, who loves to assume, who thinks negative, evil, or ill mannered, or those who enjoy taking people for granted. There more to list but never mind. No matter how concerned I am, things will still be the same…



Miserably…happy!
N-geL

Frensapiens...

I never truly understand why friends are sometimes sickening sapiens in life, really! I have to clarify that I DO love all my REAL friends (but I never know if they are the same) and most time I prioritize them after family (I’m the third in line, yikes!). I had been through rough and ugly moments with some of my acquaintances, friends, close friends, best friends, and ex-best friends and yes, it’s painful to the core! Gossips, boycotting, bad mouthing, pretender, slanted, and sometimes worse BACK STABBER!!! You name it, I’ve been through it! Sigh~

Nyway I am curios why do some friends are not friends? Or why are they being “selfish” at times? Or how come they are able to categorize or classify certain friends when that particular friend threats her/him like a family? W-H-Y?

Lately I have been feeling fag and worn out due to exam season & boredom sickness, so I am pretty much in sullen mode. Of course I am still all smiley and cherry to people I keep close to heart. What really disturbs me is…I am just CURIOUS…why friend’s friends couldn’t be my friend? Or why your friend could not hang out with me too? Why, of course I am not going to stash your friend away!!! I don’t know if this is the reason why some friend feels threatened. I don’t know…

I asked one of my bestie months back whether I am able to join her bunch for stress release vacation AND she hesitated. I understand she is concern about her crowd whether liking me (as an outsider) to fall in together, I really do understand. BUT what saddened me is she didn’t try to ask. If in turn I were her, I SWEAR I will persuade my crowd to let her in!

Okay maybe vacation is too much. Well, what about dinner union (just to sound cooler, eh)? She knew am having dinner alone, would it hurt or risky to ask me to join her & them for dinner? Wait, her friends knew me TOO!! I would NEVER do that to her or to any of my close best friends.

Another head-scratchy incident is when some friends would feel uncertain to spill out normal-everyday-conversation-topic/subject to me!!! LOL!! Sometimes my itchy mouth got itchy, I would ask “Who did you went out with the day before?” and the award winning answer would be “friend”! Oh gosh, am I being abusive towards your privacy now? I somehow believe it’s alright for friend to ask and concerned. (In sense of being KEPO lar!)

I read another friend’s friend e-diary blogging on why certain friends expressed ugly faces when most of them are having happy moments together. She is hitting the nail accurately in what I am trying to ask too! Hmmm…

I sometimes do feel invisible in my own world. I envy most of them for having wonderful external friends and I am indeed very happy for them. I stand and stare silently at the corner of their world and I BELIEVE none of them knew I existed standing there. It’s painful sometimes to see them so happy and being rubbed off from their wonderful world.

I guess I am losing my grip of importance in their life and wonder if it’s fixable? I don’t expect them to treat me like princess but somehow I wish I am and never will be forgotten like dust or rusty old machine.

Forget, forget me not!
N-geL